You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."