He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.