This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
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Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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