Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.