Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
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I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.