Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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