While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My feet surprised me
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