Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
