this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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