Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
