okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
