Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
