pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
