the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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