Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
