I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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