well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
