Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
