I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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