dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
