YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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