i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
