My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
