All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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