Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
so much tequila, so little girl.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
