We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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