Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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