Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize