there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I want her autograph on my taint
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
