not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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