He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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