Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
