HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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