yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
nutella sex= disaster
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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