At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
In other news, I just burned my penis
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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