thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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