Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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