So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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