i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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