He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.