Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old