Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.