I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
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I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?