i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
