So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i think i have herpe
just one?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize