don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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