I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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