Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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