Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
