So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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