I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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