She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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