He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
