i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
