Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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