You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize