And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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