I wish my penis had an off switch
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
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Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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