Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
