Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
