He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
