Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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