another moral hangover. fuck.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
