My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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